If Biff had opposable thumbs and could check this blog

he'd be p o'ed as I did not mention him once in my master plan in my previous post. Biff however was very much a part of the plan. I mean we had a house, right? Next comes the loving and loyal dog. Thinking back I suppose I should have paid more attention to the animal rescue volunteer who said "I'm going to miss you like a soar throat" when picking him up in some random park in po dunk Alabama. In less than 10 minutes flat, we went from Greg and Kelly to Greg, Kelly and Biff.

Little did we know, Biff had a plan of his own. An escape plan. After arriving home from a fun night with friends at a Mexican restaurant we learned two new things about our new family member: 1) He can open windows and 2) He likes to party. Biff had managed to push open the window, break through the screen and crash a neighbor's five year-old's birthday party in their backyard in the 45-minutes we were gone. My neighbor was elated. Luckily we were alerted to the escape before we had to bust him out of the joint. But wait, there's more! He did this a second time. That's right. He opened up the friggin window...again. I was confused. Was he just really that smart or a devil dog. I was not impressed.

Fast forward almost exactly two years from that crazy day when I thought "lets go pick up a random dog in Alabama!" we could not love this handsome fella any more. Any one who has met Biff knows that he is not a dog...he is a person and he is the ultimate friend. Where else can you find someone who will greet you like they just won the lottery after exiting the bathroom? Biff has been there for us through it all.

As I came home from the NICU with Greg without Jack for the fourth day straight, I was tired and I was devastated. That sounds over the top, but I just was. I had not seen Biff for a while as my brother-in-law so kindly watched Biff while we were going through all of this. But this night, Biff came home. As I walked in, there he was...all wiggles as usual. I took one look at him and I just lost it. That night, Biff sat there with me on the floor of my family room as I hugged him and cried. He didn't move. He just sat there as any great friend would and was there for me. I'm convinced that any dog that ever comes after Biff won't ever compare. That's why when people see Jack and ask "is this your first?" I happily reply "No. We have a Biff at home."

Biff...not exactly to plan, but the best darn dog anyone could ever have.

P.S. Biff, because I love you so much, I vow to stop this plot that Uncle Eric and Greg have to make a saddle so that Jack can ride you one day. You're welcome buddy.

So I started a blog 9 weeks late...

Greg and I met at a gas station. It was incredibly romantic. I remember it clear as day...like it was yesterday. When I was a little girl and I thought about meeting "the one" I had imagined it much differently. Actually, I had myself convinced that his last name would be "Mitchell" since that was the last name of Maverick in "Top Gun" and I couldn't wait for the moment when we'd meet in a bar and he'd show me that loving feeling. You think I'm joking.

So Greg and I met at a gas station. Not the original plan but I remember thinking "who is this guy?" He was tall, skinny as a rail, dark haired (which I loved) and he was dating my best friend. Whoops! Yeah, yeah...don't worry, we didn't start dating then.

My first kiss with Greg was in that same best friend's bathroom. Because nothing spells romance like a toilet. Again...not the plan. The plan was to get into some heated fight with Mr. Mitchell and then he'd grab me in his passionate rage and lay one on me. I wasn't dramatic at all as a teenager.

6 years down the road, I was single. I was 22 and single. I was supposed to already be engaged and planning my life with Maverick in our house with a picket fence. Instead, I found myself in the same room yet again with that tall, skinny, dark-haired guy I had met in the gas station parking lot long ago. Actually, not as skinny as before as he spent much of his time with friends Bud and Jim Beam in college. Fun...but bad influences.

Presumably if you are reading this you know Greg and I very well. Greg's plan is "good things happen to good people." And they always do for Greg. It's amazing. Just glance at Greg for a second and you will have a warm fuzzy feeling overtake you that everything is going to be okay. I on the other hand can't organize a closet for the life of me, but by golly I have a plan dadgumit and it's going to happen! If I can think it, talk it, research the crap out of it, I can plan it. The flaw in that thinking is that my plan never actually goes to plan.

So you can imagine the utter anxiety and "no freaking way!" feeling I had when my water exploded at work 5 minutes before I was supposed to go live on a Webinar at 34 weeks and 5 days. I actually thought for 1.2 seconds that I was going to plot to keep this child in.

At 11:11AM on February 17th, Jackson David DeAses came kicking and screaming into this world. He weighed a whopping 5lbs 12 ounces and was 19.5 inches. Plan averted...again. So now to the point of this story. I thought about what I'd like to call this blog. I thought about how I had planned to start this blog the day that Jack was born as I sat in my comfy hospital bed gazing at this quiet child sent to me from heaven above. I thought about how behind I was and yes, I got anxious. I then looked at Jack sitting there in his bouncy seat. His face was beat red as he grunted to push out yet another present for Mommy. I laughed hysterically and I knew exactly what the title would be.

Plan averted. It's the story of my life. It's not always perfect...or the way I had planned or envisioned, but it's funny. It's incredibly entertaining. And it's what keeps me going and happy. Had my life gone to plan, I would have have married Tom Cruise (YUCK!), been married at 22 while taking a tequila shot and not have laughed in life nearly as much. I don't know what life has in store for Greg and I. Lord knows I still have a plan. What I do know is that meeting at the gas station, that kiss near the commode, that child breaking through my water making me look like I had just gotten off a ride at White Water at work has made for one incredible and wonderful story thus far.

So sit back, relax, stay if you'd like and hopefully you'll find some entertainment as I butcher more fine tuned and laid out plans for my new little family.